Live with chronic disease

Challenge of a chronic disease

This morning I read a sad news about a suicide attempt by an actor in the popular sit-com, “Seinfeld”. Daniel Bargen ,61, a diabetic, upon the bad news from the hospital, he decided to take his own life. He was told to go to the hospital and have at least 2 toes amputated.

Having a chronic disease is no fun. I have been a type 2 diabetic for years, and still have difficulty to live with it. The demand for diet, exercise besides medication can be overwhelming from time to time. It’s not about occasional dieting and exercising, it’s day in and day out, all year round rigorous routine of eating right and exercise. There are times of exhaustion from all these hassle and sweat; your will power reached the breaking point, and you can’t help it. Only so much your will power can handle. It significantly took away the joy of life sometimes. One night, after a whole day of dieting, most of it were veggies and meats, fruits and carbohydrates are luxuries tome, I am in a depressive mood, feeling no hope for the future. On top of that, after carefully watch my diet all day, still I had exercise routine undone. Life had become torments for me. What I can look forward to is day-in and day-out of hard work. So I had reached another low point, and I found myself desiring death more than living like this. When I lay my head on the pillow that night,I secretly prayed to God to do me a favor taking my life away; I am just so tired of living and didn’t want to see tomorrow’s sunshine.

I can’t imagine anyone can live with a life threatening chronic disease without feeling depressed or even suicidal sometimes. Please give your family members, relatives, friends, and co-workers with chronic diseases some support and encouragement . Believe me, they need it even they appear strong and doing fine. And I strongly encourage whoever has chronic disease to get into groups with the same or similar situations. Sometimes they understand you better than your family. Without support, you may get even more isolated and depressed. Faith in God definitely helps also, since it gives you a broader perspective than the disease itself. Life should not all wrap around the disease, and we don’t live for the disease only. It seems easier for life to be defined by it if we don’t have a purpose for our lives.

Shall we rise up to the challenge, live our lives to the fullest possible, and be a hero on our own right?