How to live with a people pleasing spouse
You saw him compliant to every request, either from family members, friends, acquaintances, or even strangers, you name it. There is simply not the word “NO” in his vocabulary, and his bones. One friend calls it “soft bones”; in Chinese, you call it “rotten good man”, in English you call it a “wimp”. It’s deep rooted in the person’s personality, and it seems no one even supernatural God can help it. After numerous arguments one after another to no avail, Jane saw no hope for the future, and the realization alone could just drove her into deep and prolonged depression. On top of that, if life would throw at her other disappointments, all together would be so overwhelming that take away her will to live. Her husband’s long history of sacrificing Jane’s wish/desire for the sake of pleasing his parents, relatives, friends had got to that point numerous times through her marriage life. What choices is left for her? Either divorce, commit suicide or live in pain FOREVER!
Seeing no positive options left for her, in desperation, secretly Jane even tried to pray for her husband’s death, but that didn’t work out well of course.
The turning point: realizing that she has to take responsibility for her own happiness; it’s her job, and no one else will do it for her. She has to build up a life which brings her self respect and fulfillment. on the realization, she started to de-attatch herself from her husband’s long rooted issue and focus more on her own life-her purpose of life. discovery of her talents, interests, friendships, and pursuits of happiness without her spouse. It’s not a selfish life but an meaningful and fulfilling life.